


I Can't Live and Die

by orphan_account



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Human, Carl Manfred & Markus Parent-Child Relationship, Dark Past, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Fowler owns the Coffee Shop, Gavin Reed is a mess and needs help, Gay Panic, Hank Anderson & Connor Parent-Child Relationship, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kara & Alice Williams (Detroit: Become Human) are Siblings, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Josh/Simon, Minor Kara/Luther - Freeform, Minor Markus/North (Detroit: Become Human), No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Destruction, reedemption, slow burn but not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 03:02:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15877152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Coffee shoppe au, kinda, not really. Mostly Gavin dealing with being a disaster.





	I Can't Live and Die

**Author's Note:**

> Together my sibling and I concocted this dumb AU, originally I had no plan to write anything for it but my love for shipping minor characters won me over. You do not need to read both works to understand what's going on, however I do suggest you read the accompany for this work as it is amazing. In the work my kinfolk wrote you get to see Jericho, Kara, Hank, and Connors perspective and struggles. I chose to write strictly on Gavin's part of the story because I have a thing for underdeveloped fictional men, apparently. We both hope you enjoy reading this as much as we enjoyed writing it.  
> Link to Clockwork: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16137887

Tuesday, September 8th, 2020, 6:00 AM.

 

Fuck mornings and all the people who enjoy them, what type of psycho would deem themselves so important that they would rise before the fucking sun? Fowler and his whole coffee shop can fuck off for that matter, but it paid well enough to have Gavin awake at five in the morning, getting ready to put up with whiny teenagers who can't understand that they weren't a fucking Starbucks™. Speaking of whiny teenagers, Gavin groans as the first rush of students start to filter in through the doors of the rundown shop.

“Hey Gavin, keep glaring, I heard that it improves customer ratings!”

“Fuck off Tina.” Gavin’s scowl deepens, too tired to put any real heat behind the words. Besides, other than Chris, another one of Fowlers employees, Tina is the only one who can put up with his unfounded aggression and piss poor attitude.

“Can you two focus for at least two fucking seconds?” Fowler's crisp voice had them both snapping to attention, finally going to deal with the pitiful line of customers.

“What do you want?” Gavin scowls at the kid in front of the counter.

“Reed, I swear to God!”

Gavin rolls his eyes not daring to talk back to Fowler, instead plastering on a fake smile as he took the kids order.

This is their routine, Tina making drinks as Gavin takes orders and pretends he has a half decent attitude. Serving the same twelve people everyday, easy money in Gavin's opinion.

“What can I get you?” Gavin asks, looking at the kid in front of him, he hasn’t seen him before. Although there’s nothing remarkable about him, the way he holds himself reminds Gavin of someone, he just can't quite place who.

“Coffee, black.” The kid shoots back, tapping his foot impatiently.

“Name?” Gavin snaps back easily matching the snarky attitude, at least the kids not a morning person.

“Connor.”

Gavin turns around to get the order when it hits him, the bullshit attitude and the same irritated frown. Fuck, the kid is just like Anderson. He sneaks a second glance towards the kid and _christ_ he even looks like Hank’s kid. God, when he gets back from his break he is not going to like this, if he isn’t fucking wasted that is. The guys a stuck up asshole but having a reincarnate of your dead son show up at your work is something not even a hardened prick like Hank would be able to deal with, hopefully he isn’t sober enough to fucking notice.

“Here’s your coffee,” Gavin smiles, resisting the urge to just toss the cup at the kid. Thinking better of it, instead settling for a half mumbled insult “enjoy, fucking asshole.”

Luckily, neither Fowler or the kid heard him.

“Congrats Gavin I think you just scared the poor kid off for good.”

“Good, kid’s got an attitude worse than Anderson.”

Tina rolls her eyes in response, not nearly awake enough to deal with Gavin or his bullshit.

“I’m now regretting taking a full time job here, I’ll have to put up with you all the time now.” Tina glares in Gavin’s direction, a small grin on her face.

“Fuck you, I’m a joy to work with.”

“I’m sure all the customers you’ve threatened will agree wholeheartedly.”

Gavin simply shrugs in response, it’s not his fault he can’t control his temper, well, it is his fault but he would never willingly admit to that.  

At one o’clock Chris shows up, letting Tina take a quick break before the three of them buckle down for the inevitable rush of unruly high-school students. It’s never busy rather that it gets loud, the same kids who knew the business can't’ afford to throw them out as long as they were buying drinks.

“Hey Gavin, isn’t that the kid you swore at this morning?” Tina nudges her elbow into his side trying to get his attention.

“You what?” Chris turns on him, brown furrowed.

“Told you I didn’t scare him away, he seems like the stubborn type.”

The kid, Connor, walks up to the till eyeing Chris up and down before requesting, in the same blunt voice as before, a coffee, black.

“Sure thing kid.” Chris grins at him only to have Connor stare back with dead eyes.

“God, he’s so weird.” Tina whispers under her breath, watching as Connor tucks himself into one of the tables near the back.

“He seems nice enough.”

“Chris,” Tina glances over at him, the way she’s looking at him similar to the way a mother looks when coddling her child “you’re too sweet for this cruel world, not everyone is a good person. Take Gavin for example, he’s a jackass.”

“Tina has a point,” Gavin promptly ignores the jab, a hint of concern showing in his voice “you shouldn’t take shit from people.”

Chris simply shook his head in response, smiling at the twisted compliment from Tina.

“Heads up,” her hand shoots out to the entrance “the delinquents are back.”

Gavin’s eyes move to the doors, the same four kids had been coming here for the past two years, sometimes dragging along others. They were loud, but nobody really cares enough to say anything about it.

Today the delinquents had all seven of them gathered for their daily meeting, as usual the group had their little “contest” to see who would have to go up and order the drinks. Gavin scoffs as the chorus of “Not it!” rang through the shop, as per usual when the group had all of them together, the impossibly tall kid is the one who had to face Gavin.

_So childish_ , Gavin thought, _I’m not that bad, right?_

Luther, the burly kid that usually orders the drinks, stalks up to the counter, dumping out the cash and the list of orders printed out neatly on a scrap of loose leaf. The order had him rolling his eyes, always that one drink that had to be so fucking extra.

As he read out the order he notices that another drink had been added, a plain coffee.

At least the kid has friends, maybe.

“Thank you.” Luther mumbles as Markus, the leader of the delinquents, helps him carry all the drinks.

“Huh, would you look at that.” Tina gestures to Connor who is currently being swarmed by Markus and his cult.

Chris smiles, happy to see that the kid is actually talking to someone, he would hate to see the kid sit alone for the entire year.

 

Wednesday, September 9th, 2020, 6:00 AM.

 

Another day another fucking bullshit morning. Gavin squints up at the rundown store, “Procaffeinating Coffee Shoppe.” Reads the sign.

Fucking bullshit, what kind of pretentious asshole spells shit like that? Also, a pun for the name of the shop is both the worst idea and sadly the only good thing about the place. Either way Gavin had no love for the store today, another late night only to have to wake up bright and fucking early the next day, why can’t Fowler open at a normal fucking time.

Gavin continues to silently fume as he ties on his work apron, black and blue, also completely hideous.

“Morning sunshine! Y’know Gavin” Tina smiles, moving closer as they begin to prepare for the day “every morning what gets me out of bed is getting to see that beautiful smile of yours.”

“Fuck you,” Gavin’s glare deepens “we both know the only reason you still work here is because no one else can put up with this bullshit first thing in the fucking morning.”

“Jesus, who spit in your coffee this morning?” Tina retorts.

Gavin knew he should feel bad but right now he’s too fucking tired to give a shit, it isn’t everyday that the cops show up at your apartment because your neighbor threw someone off the balcony, fuck life.

Chris sighs, today is going to be one of those days, at least Gavin would only be here half day.

The morning is as slow as usual the only change being the new kid showing up again for a morning coffee.

“I’ll get a-”

“Let me guess,” Gavin sneers “Coffee, Black.”

Connor looks surprised, also offended, simply nodding in response.

The morning continues to drag on painfully slowly ending with Gavin basically running out of the Coffee store, not that he can go home, but his second job let him off a good two hours before Fowler would, two entire hours to spend doing nothing but sleeping. Most days he isn't sure if Fowler is a store owner or a slave driver. The job still did pay enough that he’s working less than a part time job at the drugstore to live comfortably. That is if you consider a run down apartment to be comfortable.

Gavin settles in for five and a half hours of having to deal with other people and all their problems, he kept telling himself he’d find a real job and just drop all this bullshit. Yet he’s still here, arguing with a woman about the correct price of shampoo.

“Now listen here young man, I bought this last week and you mean to tell me that this price has gone up, that is absurd! Are you trying to rob people of their hard earned money? You know what, I’ll buy the damn product but this is the last time I waste my money here.”

Gavin watches as the woman storms out knowing he’d be getting another talk from his manager.

“Fucking asshole.” he hisses beneath his breath massaging his temples. God he just wants to go home.

For once it isn’t his fault that his life’s a shit show, the world just did that sometimes, fucks you over for no reason.

_I should really quit this fucking job._

And maybe he would have if his boss hadn’t fucking fired him.

“Gavin, I tried to tell you that if you continued to be hostile towards the customers I would have to do this!”

“Fine, I get it, just,” Gavin pauses, careful what you wish for and all that bull “I get it.”

Well this is fucking wonderful. He’s now out of a job, a job that is very necessary to living a functioning life, so, like the responsible adult he is, he took off to the nearest bar to try and drown his problems in cheap liquor.

He’s halfway through his second glass of whiskey when he got a call from Tina.

“Hey, I heard what happened with your neighbor, that fucking sucks.” The sound of Tina’s dog barking in the background fills the horribly awkward pause. “So, you good?”

“Yup, fucking peachy.” Gavin frowns, downing the rest of his drink, how the fuck did Anderson drink this shit, his stomach churns as the truth of what he’s currently doing hits him, right now he embodies everything he hates about the world.

“Where are you?”

“Some bar.” He looks around at the other people all looking equally pitiful yet looking oddly more content then he does, he shouldn't be here.

“Are you drinking alone? Oh my God Gavin that’s so sad, you okay?”

“It’s nothing,” he didn’t want her pity, especially not now or ever “I’ll be fine, see you tomorrow.”

He hung up before she can protest.

He found himself casting an eye down at his distorted reflection, drowning while trapped inside a whisky glass, how poetic.

He found himself asking yet again why Anderson would do this to himself, far too many glasses in and he still felt like his entire world was crashing down upon him. No, that isn’t right, what he felt was numb, as if someone is holding a hand around his throat and every glass just cut him off more and more. He should probably stop drinking, then again he should also have a real fucking job. Fowler is not going to be happy with him, but fuck him and his shit hole of an establishment, so Gavin kept drinking hoping to drown out his problems. He manages to call himself a cab, having left his car at his other job, he can get it tomorrow.

As he struggles to fit the keys into the lock he took at the room beside his, he’d always liked the woman who lived there, who knew she would end up killing someone, it could have been him, a dark part of him wishes it had been him, he’s so tired. Not bothering to undress Gavin collapses onto his bed allowing his two cats to curl up beside him, at least he still had that.

A shit day, for a shit life, for an even shittier person. Might as well wallow down to the fucking pity party while he’s still drunk enough to care about  himself. This is the reason why his last partner left him for someone younger, smarter, prettier, just so much better than he can ever hope to be. He didn’t talk about his feelings or his past for that matter, rather repress and pretend like he had his shit together. Christ, that’s most likely the reason he’s alone in general, no one is willing to put in the time to see through the whole arrogant facade, and why would they? To see the bigger mess that he is, or to see just how fucked up his life really is, just so he could push them away. He would rather live a fake life than let people see how broken he is, because if nothing else he would remain stubborn till the day he fucking died, even if that meant he’d die alone.

 

_“Stop making this harder on yourself Gavin, if you keep pushing back you will break.”_

 

Maybe his brother had a point.

 

Thursday, September 10th, 2020, 6:30 AM.

 

Fuck his head hurt, one can compare the feeling to that of one thousand trucks slamming into you at once, and he’s late for work.

“Fucking hangover.” he mutters hoping into the shower, he’s a complete mess but he isn’t about to show up reeking of alcohol.

His face scrunches up in disgust at the smell, it would take more than a shower to purge his skin from the stench. He almost considers calling in sick, not feeling like walking but he can’t afford to miss work, literally.

When he finally got to work Fowler’s waiting for him, shit, he hadn’t planned this far ahead.

“Reed,” Fowler's tone lacks the usual heat instead holding something more like concern, or pity “I’m not going to lay into you too much about this only because it is the first time you have been late in years. However, we already have one alcoholic, don’t add to those numbers.”

“Yeah.” he was feeling as if his head is about to fall off, why did he think this was a good idea, he’s so fucking stupid.

The soft  buzzing of the overly bright fluorescent lights mixed with the stale smell of the old coffee and the white decor makes Gavin's skull throb like a second heart, not for the first time that morning he found himself regretting his life choices. He took a deep breath tying on his apron and taking his spot at the counter.

“You look like shit,” Tina pulls a face, nose wrinkling and eyes narrowed, not caring about the woman who can very clearly hear them “and I thought I’d have one more day before this place gets back to smelling like booze.”

Hank had taken a two week “vacation” giving the shop a blissful fourteen days of more or less clean air, but he’d be back tomorrow meaning Gavin would go back to working part time and that’s another fucking problem.

“Gavin I know you two don’t like each other but, wow.”

Gavin looks down to realize he has crushed the current order he’s holding, hot coffee spilling over his shaking hands.

“Fuck!”

The woman at the counter shot him a dirty look but he ignores her in favour of hissing out more profanities.

“Sorry miss,” Tina grins handing her another coffee before turning to Gavin ”Okay, spill.”

“Nothing to tell,” he replies, mopping up the coffee that had found its way to the floor “my neighbor is just a murderer this whole time you try sleeping knowing that.” There’s no way in hell that he’s talking about his personal problems.

Tina shrugs, knowing that if Gavin didn’t want to talk he wouldn’t, she’d find out one way or another.

“Well, Chris will be here soon and I’m going to visit Abby down at the hospital, if that’s good with you?”

“Yeah,” Gavin smirks, Abby is Tina’s girlfriend. They had met after Tina dared him to jump off the roof of her house, it landed him in the hospital for a week but also landed Tina a hot nurse for a girlfriend. “Chris and I should be able to handle it.”

“Thanks, I really don’t feel like dealing with Jericho today.”

“Who?” Gavin asks sending a puzzled look her way, putting the mop off to the side.

“Markus and his cult, they call themselves Jericho, it’s a much better name than ‘the delinquents’ so why not?”

It did have a nice ring to it not to mention it’s very fitting.

Chris arrives on time much to Tina's delight, but who was really surprised? Gavin waves goodbye as Chris settles in.

“Gavin, I hate to be blunt but you look terrible and smell like a bar, are you okay?” It would have been insulting if it had came from anyone else but Chris had a way with words when he wants to.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” How many times would he need to tell that lie today? More importantly, when would people realize he isn’t worth caring for?

“Okay, but if you need anything don’t be afraid to ask.”

“Uh huh.” Gavin’s saved from answering any more questions as a customer approaches.

Most of the afternoon passes as such, Gavin avoiding talking about his problems and Chris pretending not to notice that the bags under his eyes were from more than just one bad night.

Gavin nearly jumps out of his skin as the doors are kicked open, causing a loud disturbance in the otherwise quiet shop.

“North, we talked about this!”

“Markus, the only reason I come along with you is because I get to do this.” The girl who had kicked open the door, _North_ , shot back, smirking.

“Also because we are your only friends.” Josh quipped.

“Fuck you Josh.” She laughs, gently hitting his shoulder.

Gavin and Chris watch with mild amusement as the group took their usual spot, today they had the usual group of four, and the new kid.

“Okay,” Spoke Markus “On three. Ready?”

The group members respond with varying amounts of enthusiasm.

“One, Two,Three!”

“Markus, look, a dog!”

Four hands shot up each touching their noses as Markus looks for the dog, his face falling when he realizes he’d been tricked.

“Simon,” he asks, voice soft with betrayal “why would you do this.”

Simon shrugs. “It had to be you, Josh has gone up enough for one lifetime, also Gavin looks pissy.”

“Fine,” Markus sighs standing up “I’ll go.”

“Don’t go acting like the hero, you’d have done it either way.” North shot back, her tone full of a gentle fondness.

Markus straight up beams at her, sauntering up to the counter bright smile still on his face.

“Good afternoon Gavin, how are?”

“The usual?” He hates pleasantries.

Markus’ smile widens “As always, when will Hank be back?”

“Tomorrow.” Chris replies as he starts building the concoction that Markus calls a drink, one of every sweet thing they had.

“If we're lucky.” Gavin shot back, Hank had the tendency to not show up.

“Well, we can hope.” Markus responds, forever the optimist. “Uh, can I get a hand with these?”

“Whatever.” Gavin picks up three of the five drinks, balancing them easily, this being routine. “How’s the new kid?”

“Nice,” Markus’ brow furrow in concern “a bit shy but I think we’ll be able to get around that, how are you Gavin?” Markus looks up, discreetly taking in the bags under Gavin’s eyes, not that he had attempted to hide them.

Gavin nods once in response, ignoring the question, he didn’t need a teenager looking after his well being. As for the kid, he didn’t exactly care for him but he didn’t hate him either.

“Fuck yeah!” North shouts grabbing her drink excitedly from Gavin’s hands. The girl honest to God scares the shit out of him, not that he would ever admit it, she reminds him of an explosion nice from afar but fucking terrifying close up.

Gavin set down Josh’s tea and hands Connor his coffee.

“Thank you.” he whispers, so faint Gavin barely heard it.

“No problem, uh, enjoy?” Gavin hurries off uncomfortable at the show of kindness.

The group stays rather late leaving two hours before closing, the new kid simply waves goodbye setting out his school work in front of himself.

“Well, I’m off, you good closing up today?”

“Sure thing Chris, tell the wife I say hi.”

“Will do.”

Gavin began to clean up the shop, wiping down tables, counters and putting up chairs, as he came closer to the back of the room he notices that Connor is still there, kid’s silent for a high-school student.

“Hey kid, Connor, you gotta leave.”

Connor looks up, a blank stare on his face as he began packing up his stuff, the kid’s kinda creepy. He picks up his car and heads home, he should really take a day off just so he can sleep. Yet, it seems as if God herself had decided to spite him as when he got to his room the police were there.

“Afternoon Mr. Reed we have a few questions for you about what happened with your neighbor.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Gavin glares at the cop in front of him “You can’t have done this earlier?”

“I, um, Sir you weren’t here when we stopped by last night and Detective Knine thought it might be good to question you after what we found.”

“I don’t fucking know anything!” Gavin can feel his nails digging crescent shaped dents into his hands “There, can you fucking leave now?”

“Mr. Reed, I should caution you that aggravating the situation will do you no good.” The man who spoke is tall, his eyes a cold grey. Most striking about him is the way he carries himself, back straight and sharp eyes forward and the general feeling that he’s better than everyone else. If Gavin isn’t so pissed off he might have called the man attractive.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Gavin glares up at the man despite the fact he’s almost a head taller.

“Detective Richard Knine, DCPD.”

“Ha, Dick.”

Knine cocks an eyebrow at Gavin. “Real mature, I’m going to ask you a few questions, do you think you’ll be able to answer?”

“I don’t see why not.” Gavin replies, crossing his arms over his chest in a weak attempt to make himself more intimidating.

“I’ll take it from here John, well Mr. Reed unless you plan on standing here for the remainder of your night I suggest we step inside.”

“Fucking whatever.” Gavin shoves the keys into the lock with a bit more force than necessary, but something about the way that he said Gavin's name makes his blood boil. “You want a fucking coffee?”

“No, this will not take that long, if you choose to cooperate.” Detective Knines sent a vaguely threatening look Gavins way.

“Ask away.”

Half an hour later the Detective gave up on grilling for answers seeing as he is getting nowhere.

“And you don’t remember anything odd about her, nothing at all?”

“I told you,” his tone incredibly exasperated “the only thing ‘odd’ about her is that she’d-oh shit.” Gavin’s eyes narrow with realization.

“What, what is it?” The Detective leans forward expectantly.

“She would sit by the window and talk to her son, I always thought she was on the phone but you said her son went missing...fuck, I bet you she kept his body and that’s why she fucking killed that guy!”

“Mr. Reed, that’s highly unlikely, we searched the building already, unless she put him in the walls?” he’s pacing now, mind working at speeds faster than one would think to be humanly possible. “No, the smell would give her away.”

“Well,” Gavin says as nonchalantly as one can while discussing murder “it is an old building, place smells like shit anyway.”

The detective’s eyes lit up “Thank you for your cooperation, if this theory is correct you may speak of it to no one. We may also need to call you in to make a statement.” With that he left.

“Fucking Dick.” Gavin mumbles, how the fuck is he supposed to sleep knowing they were excavating a body from his neighbors wall? But fuck if he isn’t tired, instead of sticking around heading off to find a cheap motel, he’d get his shit tomorrow.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Linkerino to the other half of the story, Clockwork: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16137887  
> so this is a mess, I do plan on coming back for editing latter, but school is a bitch so that's not gonna happen right now, so sorry but hope you enjoyed.


End file.
